While I pondered, cold and dreary....
Posted by Kelly B at 10:50 AM Labels: depression, lazy, procrastination
Things have been crazy around here. I haven't posted since February. I know. Bad, bad blogger!! I promise to self flagellate later. You see, the longer I stayed away... the more I thought that the next project had to be big. The longer, the bigger. You understand. So, there was a lot of self imposed pressure I was placing on myself, and with 5 kids.... big projects are kinda hard to get done. They tend to be long term ongoing projects. So, I didn't post. Then there was the guilt. You know, for not posting. Yes, I know. You are right. I am kinda psycho.
To top all of this craziness off, I have been battling major depressive disorder. It is kinda funny when you think about it. I have been too depressed to do anything and then I was filled with guilt for not doing anything. Thankfully, I am feeling better for the time being and I admit that that is absolutely crazy funny. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself when you've lost it.... what is the point???
So, I promise that I will behave myself better. No more feeling sorry for myself. The worst thing I could do is sit on my butt and do nothing. Yes, I have the gift of guilt trips. And I am especially good at doing them to myself. I always say, "If you can't afford a real trip, then take a guilt trip!". Ha.
Try not to think of me as too pathetic, if you do that is OK. I have gone through this long enough to not care what other people think. If I did that, well, I think I would always be depressed.
Ok. Enough of that. On to something interesting. The month of April should be a good month around here. We are planning several painting projects. Namely, the shed out back. We need to replace siding on one side, but after that it is all paint. And plants. Did I mention that it is currently my homage to weeds? I could say it is currently a science experiment to determine the types of weeds prevalent in our area. We are also currently conducting science experiments in the fridge... which reminds me that the fridge is on my list for today. Oh, dang. And the bathrooms. Why did you have to remind me?
Well, I now have a ton of stuff to get done. And I hope you guys are still around. I plan on getting quite a few things done here soon. And no procrastinating this time!! I promise!!
April 8, 2010 at 5:43 PM
That looks like a picture of me :) I hope you're depression goes away <3